…when I ponder why I still say yes to the thing I will inevitably dread when the day rolls around, it comes down to this:
There are things I’ve learned that I want you to know too. I mean to encourage you. And there are things you know; insights, wisdom, some shade of meaning you’ve found, or some beauty, or both, that I want to know. And if I share, I think you may also. And we will be friends. This year I realized I do almost everything I do to make friends. Real friends. And to learn. For me, learning – and laughing at ourselves as we do it – with friends, is life at its peak best.
This leads to misunderstandings. Ambitions I don’t have are attributed to me. Needs I don’t have are attributed to me. Meanwhile – I want friends. Not fans or followers. Not “contacts”. I’m not “networking”. I’m not selling anything here. I made two new friends last week. It was a GREAT week.
My mom told me when I was six that I was too serious and too sensitive. And she told me at 16. And 26. And 46. And 66. My mother is right. I’ve not changed. (Though I tried) I suck at superficial. This is not necessarily a virtue.
We need a bit of ease and looseness in our connections. I have a couple of friends who have been my “social directors”. I mimic their casualness and looseness and follow along. I got through a lot of events with a smile plastered on my face saying nice things to hundreds of people when I longed to be in a corner getting to know one or two a lot better.
I’m not for everyone. Everyone is not for me.
I’m following a couple of people around on Clubhouse. I try to keep up with whatever is the new platform for connecting. I will try out most new things. Open mindedness is a virtue of mine. And I don’t mind being bad or awkward at something in the beginning. These folks I’m following aren’t awkward. They are they people that ENJOY talking to hundreds of people saying stuff everyone likes to hear. They make rooms warm and safe for everyone. I am grateful for them.
Yay extroverts! It’s about to be your time again. Relaunch us all!
I’ll be over here in the corner. With a couple of new pals.