Welcome to Houston

This one is for Lisa Gray who regularly pesters us for our gripes and complaints about #Houston.
Here’s one thing that totally pisses me off regularly.

We recruit you here to work from NYC, Chicago, San Francisco. And at first you turned up your nose at the very idea because you didn’t know a damn thing and had never even been here. A point you are proud to make. Then you come because you realize:
1. You can do work here you’d never get to do in NYC in a million years. There you’re waiting in a line of 10,000 people for every opportunity. And every one of those people thinks they’re hot shit.
2. You decide freezing your ass off in the highly divided and dysfunctional Windy City maybe isn’t the dream you were hoping for.
3. You realize that you can trade your closet in San Francisco for an actual living space WITH a closet and still go out to dinner with friends. And you won’t have to use Venmo to divide the check. You can actually afford to buy your b-day pal a drink.

But that’s not what pisses me off. We’re glad you came. We need to get stuff done and you looked good for that. What pisses me off is listening to you say this shit:
1. “My San Fran friends were all like ‘Houston, why would you ever do that?” Answer: your friends are ignorant. No reason to brag on them. And you didn’t bring them with you. Move on.
2. “I moved *here* from NYC” – waiting for us to feel flattered. And clap for you. We will – but frankly we’re waiting for you to grow emotionally. Houston is not a demotion. It’s a sign you grew up. Be here now. And all that.
3. “I dreaded coming but I was so surprised. Everyone here is so helpful. Anyone will take your call. I guess it’s that southern hospitality.” Gosh. How to explain? It’s just manners and kindness. After all we’ve all been newcomers at some point. You’ll catch on. Find yourself smiling at other random human beings.

You are not visiting a foreign country. Don’t act like it. In fact don’t act like that in a foreign country either. Take a hint from those who come here from actual foreign countries and appreciate opportunities. Don’t be a condescending pain in the butt. Just skip to the part where you’re glad you came.

#Houston You’re Welcome.

Lisa Gray – I hope you’re happy.