January 20, 2020

Bossy Blessings

At an event last night I sat next to a woman who unabashedly bossed me the whole event. What a blessing. I knew some folks but not everyone and she just said sit here, get that, say this, eat that. Have another drink. She threw in some tax advice and spiritual direction. (She was on target on both accounts.) Let’s just say she’s “outgoing”. Love her.

As we were adjusting our “be-hinds” on the available seating we went through the “gotta lotta junk in my trunk” and “carrying a load in my wagon” acknowledgments of how generous the good lord was to us in the rear end department.

Slept well last night after all the fun and gumbo. Dreamed I was working with another young woman with a clothing start up. We were laying out patterns and looking at plans. There were these curvy shapes on the drawing board – curvy waves of fabric basted together. Looking good, I thought. And then – still a dream mind you – she was turned down for start up money. I felt sad. In the dream these were going to be work clothes. Curvy work suits. If none of the suits have a shape like yours it can make you feel like you can’t do what the people shaped like these suits are doing.

This morning I got to thinking about Lily Tomlin’s (young folks – look her up) famous line responding to all of those “Tootsie” (movie not the store) suit imitations of the man uniform. Why were we wearing them? Her answer: They threatened no one because no one looked good in them.

A long time ago, when I started working at Deloitte, women wore the ugliest crap ever draped on a woman’s body. Like they just took the saddest version of a man’s suit, made a half hearted effort to accommodate breasts, created a skirt that fit NO ONE. Usually with some stupid little bow thing where the tie would go. My friend Karin and I – tongue in cheek – wore skinny man ties with our suits to a few of our interviews. Another woman once wore a paisley blouse and it was the talk of the office. Our “blouses” were made exactly like the shirts men wore but cost 3xs as much at the dry cleaners. This despite the fact they were exactly the same except for which way they buttoned. It wasn’t in any way the worst of the gender issues in the 1980s but I still won’t go to that dry cleaners on Kirby where the clerk snottily responded to my protest: “men and woman are different , you know.” Yes they are but these ugly damn shirts are exactly alike.

On the list of things that I’m happy about – more bodies and more colors, shapes and sizes are visible and celebrated. I like that commercial where the woman says “my curves have curves”.

Waiting for more clothing companies to catch up. Waiting for FB to stop with the shapewear ads. I got my shape genetically. Not trying to be boudin.

Share This Article​