When I am not being bombarded with content related to the worries of aging and reminders of
how infirm and expensive us ancient folks have become, I’m getting those AI ads extolling our
wisdom and experience. Such are compensations for getting older.

All those brilliant insights and tidbits that we’re supposed to have gained from all our mistakes
and triumphs, are supposed to make us feel better about our decline.

And aging is constantly portrayed as decline. All experience is portrayed against a backdrop of
decline. Make no mistake about that. If you’ve momentarily forgotten your losses, there’s a
podcaster who will remind you that you’re falling apart but it’s okay because you are so WISE.

And eager to pass on your wisdom.

However, much of what I learned over my lifetime has no applicability going forward. And the
rest of what I know requires careful curation. Extracting what counts as true wisdom and
thinking carefully about when and how to share it is really important.

“It ain’t help if they didn’t ask”. – Angelaism

I find what people need most, even if they aren’t always aware of it, is to hear their own voice
saying what they need to say. Saying out loud what’s important to them. What’s been swirling
around in their heads for months – or years. Out loud to a human being. Preferably one who
doesn’t interrupt or google what they’re saying as they’re saying it. Someone not invested so
heavily in who they are now. Willing to think with them about a new path.

When we act as kind mirrors, reflecting back to people what they’ve shared, and reminding
them of who they are and what they care about – well, that is real support. We all need
conversations to check our perceptions, test our ideas. Hear ourselves think.

Deep, active listening helps people organize their thoughts, identify their longings and needs,
shape their plans.

Parables about how I got an education, saved and invested, and built a career, worked for a
board, blah blah blah – the entire era and arc of my professional experience is so different than
what people today must consider and plan for.

I remind myself: We are not here to pass on our playbooks. Most of what’s there isn’t relevant.
We’re here to pass on our “big why”. Our love of the world and all its delightful inhabitants. Our
good fortune to still be here and our excitement about challenges to come. Our curiosity about
them and our delight in their contributions and progress.

Wrote this for me and maybe for you too.

Love,
Angela